Tritina #2 (ekphrastic poetry challenge)





Up here, behind the orchard, all is green
And lovely as I visit for a spell,
Cursing the sun and all its brilliant lies.

How dare the sun shine bright as my love lies
Interred beneath this silent grassy green?
An earth-bound passion held us in its spell.

I never thought that such a love could spell
Our doom. But Jake did not believe my lies.
Deep scarlet drenched a gown of olive green.

Stone letters, mossy green, spell “here lies Anne.”





Writing prompt: Ekphrastic poetry (describe a work of visual art) 

Comments

  1. kalpana solsiFebruary 28, 2019 at 3:17 AM

    Her love and longing is embedded in deep poetry .

    ReplyDelete
  2. NateFebruary 28, 2019 at 3:21 PM

    "The sun and all its brilliant lines" is a dazzling turn of phrase. I also liked the word play of "love lies" and "lovelies." I wasn't sure what to read into the Jake line. Is the poem referencing a book I'm not aware of? Who are Jake and Anne to the narrator? The tritina form didn't get in the way of the poem at all; that's the sign of a success!

    ReplyDelete
  3. LeonyFebruary 28, 2019 at 6:02 PM

    Beautifully done. I love how you depicted the lovers’ doom in contrast to the beautiful surroundings. Also, you always have the perfect image to go with your post.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LaissezFaireMarch 1, 2019 at 10:23 AM

    Love this: Cursing the sun and all its brilliant lies. <--brilliant indeed

    the poem told such a compelling story with so few words. The repetition of love and lies works so well that I forgot it was a tritina. The only part that I didn't quite get was the line about Jake.

    ReplyDelete
  5. JenMarch 1, 2019 at 2:06 PM

    Thanks for your comments! I deliberately left it ambiguous who Jake was, except somebody angry about the narrator's relationship with Anne. I wondered whether I should be more specific and now I know.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Exorcism (microfiction)

Image
Their hold on me had long since loosened. But I felt Darien’s hands days later.  I felt them across the conference room, Monday after the office party. I felt them when his eyes followed me out the door.  Something had to give. Closing my résumé, I inhaled, and dialed HR. 
Read more

Adulting (poetry challenge)

Image
My kids’ bookshelves are filled with books, and their heads with stories I’ve told them. I sneak zucchini into their muffins and cakes, And send them off to school and bed on time. When the kids are out of earshot, their daddy and I giggle at dirty jokes. Alone, I reread my favorite children’s books And dance free-spirited around the living room. My inner child needs nurturing too. Poetry challenge: Sevenling
Read more

Are Online Friends Real Friends?

Image
Many of us modern-day humans hang out online with people we’ve never in person. The Internet is full of communities, and members of those communities sometimes become friends. But if you’ve never met someone in real life, are they really a friend? To answer that question, you’d first have to ask, “What is a friend?” And I suspect that answer is different for everybody.  What Defines a Friend? Linguistically speaking, there are as many definitions of “friend” as there are dictionaries. The Oxford English Dictionary calls friendship “an informal relationship of mutual trust and intimacy.” The Russian Ozhegov Dictionary agrees trust is key, defining friendship as “a close relationship, based on mutual trust, affection and unity of interests.” Merriam-Webster offers several definitions, including “a favored companion.” I would say someone is a friend if you enjoy each other’s company and care about each other’s well-being. My friends are people I’ve bonded with in some way – perhaps via s
Read more