How to Kick Butt at Karaoke – Even If You Can’t Sing
In my opinion, karaoke is one of Japan’s greatest inventions, along with anime, Haruki Murakami, and pachinko machines. It’s way more fun than it should be.
Maybe you’ve been to a karaoke bar and watched your friends sing. Maybe you refused their requests to go up on that stage because you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself.
Maybe afterward you thought to yourself, “Hmm. I know I sound better than those drunk chicks who murdered ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’.” Maybe you watched The Voice on TV and you were like, “Dang, I sing better than that guy.” Maybe you might, just might, be talked into singing next time.
Here’s the Secret
Having an amazing singing voice is NOT the secret to kicking butt at karaoke.
The key is knowing which songs YOU sound good on. Even someone with a great voice doesn’t sound great on every song. Carrie Underwood singing Tracy Chapman would not sound good. Luciano Pavarotti singing Guns N’ Roses would really not sound good.
If you want to do karaoke, sing in the car. A lot. Sing along to everything on your favorite radio station or playlist. Sing each song all the way through so you know whether it goes too high or too low for your range.
Listen to yourself while you are singing. Girl, you know if you sound good on that song, or if you sound bad on that song. That one you sounded really good on? Pick that one for karaoke.
Sing your song in the shower a couple of times, to make sure you know the intro and not just the chorus. No need to memorize the words. The lyrics will be up on a TV screen in the karaoke bar for you to read.
Rookie Mistakes
Avoid:
- Picking a song just because you remember it fondly from high school
- Choosing a song that’s completely out of your range (this is why I will never sing anything by Heart)
- Choosing a song that’s ridiculously long (I love “Alice’s Restaurant” too, but karaoke is not the place)
Don’t be afraid to sing a song originally recorded by someone of the opposite sex. I’ve sung songs by the Doobie Brothers, Bruno Mars, Gnarls Barkley, and Blind Melon that were in my low alto range.
Karaoke crowds love people who give it their all. At the last karaoke night I went to, a young man picked a cheesy Frank Sinatra ballad. While singing, he strolled around the place, pausing when he got to each and every woman, young and old, as he crooned the lyrics and gazed soulfully into their eyes. His voice was okay, but people barely noticed because they were too busy cracking up at his delivery.
Karaoke audiences also love performances that are unexpected. I’ll never forget the burly, bearded man who got up and sang “Natural Woman” by Aretha Franklin in falsetto. You could hear the crowd cheering all the way down the block.
I’m friends with this couple where the woman is a singer and the man is not. They got up on the karaoke stage together and did “Love Shack” by the B-52s. It was perfect, because the man’s part is 100% spoken, and she got to show off her singing.
But What If I Can’t Sing??
It can be fun to sing with a big group. Your voice will blend in with all the others.
No, seriously, you might be saying. My singing voice sounds like the caterwauling of a toddler denied Fruity Pebbles at the grocery store.
Never fear! So many great tunes are mostly spoken, not sung. Some of my favorites:
- “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa
- “Short Skirt Long Jacket” by Cake
- “Walk This Way” by Run DMC ft. Aerosmith
- “Tequila” by the Champs – literally the only word is “tequila” – throw in some air guitar or sax and you’re all set
- “Bust a Move” by Young MC
- “(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!)” by the Beastie Boys
- Theme song to “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air”
- “Hot Rod Lincoln” by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen
- “Devil Went Down to Georgia” by Charlie Daniels Band
- “Things That Make You Go Hmmm” by C&C Music Factory
Do it your way. Sell it, baby. And have a great time!
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| My brother rocking "Smells Like Nirvana" by Weird Al Yankovic |
Love this! This piece felt fun and joyful. The structure worked really well and you managed to stop just short of saying too much or being preachy. I honestly can’t think of anything you can do to improve it - though it could be because you made me remember my uncle’s stellar rendition of A Boy Named Sue one Christmas.
ReplyDeleteThis was fun and inspiring. I always say I'll be a karaoke backup singer, but so far no takers. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAs someone who can sing, I avoid karaoke unless it's at home with only my family to hear me. Hahah never want to be "one of those people", but if I were, it would totally be Journey, because the crowd always joins along and can drown out my vibrato. 🙂
ReplyDeleteMaybe this is the pep talk I never knew I needed. I cannot carry a tune so I am karaoke-adverse, at least in my head!
ReplyDelete