Broke (microfiction)



It was too cold to lay bricks. Seasonal unemployment, they called it.

The refrigerator was empty.

A man who can’t feed his family is nothing.

He stepped onto the icy pond.

The crack echoed like thunder, and he was gone.




Writing Prompt: Write a complete story in exactly 40 words that evokes a specific season without using the names for that season (i.e., spring, summer, fall/autumn, winter).

Comments

  1. MynaAugust 7, 2019 at 7:28 PM

    You captured the bleak, hopeless feeling well. Nice job!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sanch @ Sanch WritesAugust 8, 2019 at 3:40 AM

    Bleak was my first thought too. I love how you've captured the season and his feelings in such a succinct manner.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Michelle HanleyAugust 8, 2019 at 8:32 AM

    The sparse detail really worked here - I could feel the piece gaining momentum as it went.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ChristineAugust 8, 2019 at 11:12 AM

    Great job in conveying a sense of helplessness. The stark imagery and blunt phrasing really worked to create a mood.

    ReplyDelete
  5. NorthieAugust 8, 2019 at 11:32 AM

    Bleakness in all directions. Winter, and life, can be unforgiving. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  6. KimAugust 8, 2019 at 11:33 AM

    I really liked this; the MC's tone, the surroundings and the ending all fit together in a very vivid way. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  7. unfoldingfromthefog.wordpress.comAugust 8, 2019 at 4:19 PM

    I really felt for your MC. "The crack echoed like thunder..." was memorable.

    ReplyDelete

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