Shhh... Don't Tell Mensa

Sometimes, I’m good at adulting! I manage to:
  • hold down a job
  • own a home (actually, two; one’s rented out)
  • pay all my bills
  • maintain good credit
  • be a halfway decent parent
Other times, I stay up until after midnight, reading a great book, writing, or playing video games, and then want to kick myself when that alarm goes off at 5:45 AM. Oh, and at the age of 42, I still pretty much suck at being anywhere on time.

Sometimes, I do smart things! Apparently I can:
  • solve complex problems at work
  • communicate with precision and diplomacy
  • ingeniously broker a peace deal between my warring daughters
  • find new jobs and learn new skills after being laid off
  • proofread like a boss
Other times, I do what I did last week: Walk down a dark staircase, hands full, while reading my phone and saying something to my husband in the next room. I thought I had reached the bottom step. I had not. CRUNCH.

Ta-da! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome… Gimpy Jen! Scroll down to see my fabulous footwear, straight off the Paris runway:


It’s been one week. My foot is still angry at me. In its rage, it turned all kinds of colors, one after the other, like a cartoon character: black, blue, purple, yellow, even a lovely hue reminiscent of pea soup. The whole foot is one giant bruise, including my toes (except the big toe, which appears to have forgiven and forgotten).

Still, I feel fortunate. It could have been so much worse. It could have:
  • been a break instead of a sprain
  • happened when I was home alone
  • happened on the top step instead of the second-to-last step
  • occurred during hot weather, when having to wear this walking boot would suuuuuuck
  • prevented me from getting to work (I work from home, sitting at a computer)
Bonus: The medical professionals told me I should NOT stay off my feet. Quite the contrary, they advised me to be up and about as much as possible, wearing the boot, to speed healing. I was ecstatic to hear that, because not only do I detest sitting for long periods of time, but HELLO, I have young kids. Moms don’t stay off their feet. Especially not during the holidays.

So I’m counting my lucky stars this Christmas. Instead of permanent damage, I have a funny story and a stylish black Velcro boot to show off when I see my family in a few days.

Shout out to Dr. Anne Zeller and the terrific team at Skokie Hospital’s orthopedic walk-in clinic!

Comments

  1. Appetite4April 1, 2019 at 6:30 PM

    About those "warring daughters." They have a perfectly good reason to do battle.

    When I asked one of them, if they saw her mother and uncle argue with the same intensity as themselves, the response was this:

    "That's different! You're OLD!"

    Puts you right in your place.

    ReplyDelete

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