Coronavirus: Best Thing Ever! (by the Family Dog)
|Image credit: Washington Post|
The humans have been barking more than usual. They watch that big flat box that they like, the one that shows pictures of other humans barking, and they bark back.
Coronavirus, they keep saying. I do not know that word. But I know it must be something really great!
For one thing, my entire pack is home. All of them, together, all the time! The man and the woman stopped telling me to guard the house (as if I needed a reminder! What will they remind me to do next, breathe?) as they left for "work." And the small humans have not stepped into that giant orange Twinkie with wheels since last week. Someone must have eaten that Twinkie. Lucky.
Not only are they all home, they take me for walks three or four times a day now! Today, the man put on my leash and mumbled something about getting out of the house before he committed hairy Carrie. I don't know who Carrie is, or why she needs to be committed, but I sure hope she gets better soon. I went to a hospital once, and let me tell you, it was no roll in the carrion. Anyway, I've now checked my pee-mail so many times, I'm all caught up!
The woman did finally leave the house the other day. And do you know what she came back with? FOUR giant bags of food just for me! Plus, at least a dozen mouth-watering packages of meat, which they insisted on putting into the cold box, silly humans. I forgave them after a Pupperoni.
They howl a lot more than usual. Naturally, I join in, and that makes them howl even louder. What a party!
Yesterday, after the small humans had gone to sleep, the man and woman must have been exhausted from all that partying, because they plopped onto the couch and just stared off into space. I stretched myself across both of their laps to cuddle.
I love my humans. Tomorrow I will kill a squirrel and bring it to them. Because it's not a good party if you run out of food.