Broke (microfiction)



It was too cold to lay bricks. Seasonal unemployment, they called it.

The refrigerator was empty.

A man who can’t feed his family is nothing.

He stepped onto the icy pond.

The crack echoed like thunder, and he was gone.




Writing Prompt: Write a complete story in exactly 40 words that evokes a specific season without using the names for that season (i.e., spring, summer, fall/autumn, winter).

Comments

  1. You captured the bleak, hopeless feeling well. Nice job!

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  2. Bleak was my first thought too. I love how you've captured the season and his feelings in such a succinct manner.

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  3. The sparse detail really worked here - I could feel the piece gaining momentum as it went.

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  4. Great job in conveying a sense of helplessness. The stark imagery and blunt phrasing really worked to create a mood.

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  5. Bleakness in all directions. Winter, and life, can be unforgiving. Well done.

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  6. I really liked this; the MC's tone, the surroundings and the ending all fit together in a very vivid way. Thanks for sharing!

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  7. I really felt for your MC. "The crack echoed like thunder..." was memorable.

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